Withdrawal Symptoms

So, I am not making any excuses here and I am not justifying my habit.

Two weeks back, I decided to switch to vape and give up the cigarette smoking altogether. I was in a good disposition about everything in my life, so I was like, why not ride the high and get myself to quit. I successfully transitioned from smoking to vaping. I got me a menthol flavored nicotine salt and what’s good about it is that I can vape in my room so I don’t need to leave my room if I want to smoke.

Now here’s what happened next. Last weekend – that’s around 2 weeks into vaping – I noticed that my mood was off. I had 2 sets of 2 days off but I was not in the mood to do anything but at the same time, I felt like I am not doing anything good at all. I was feeling overwhelmed about the tiniest thing that I know I need to get done and I started comparing my life to other people (damn you, Facebook). I was also sleeping and eating a lot. I thought maybe I was homesick. You know that feeling doesn’t go away no matter how many years you have been working abroad. I also thought that maybe, I was just really tired over the weekend because of the bad shifts we had. But the thing is, I’ve handled worse. So it got me thinking. What is happening to me? Is this depression? Is this what it feels like?

Then it hit me. I was having withdrawal symptoms from quitting cigarette smoking. You know why I am sure about this? Because after classes yesterday, I got me some smokes, consumed one and I finished more things in one afternoon than when I was on my days off. I also went to work and finished my shift last night with no difficulty. I am back in that delightful mood that I know I always have. I know we are entitled to feel sometimes, but what happened to me was not it.

I do not drink alcoholic beverages anymor. This has been the only thing that I can say is my vice.

Again, I am not justifying my habit. Its just that, it has been my stress reliever for how many years now and it has helped me deal with emotional turmoils.